**** Flashback ***** Edward/21-22years ****
"Masen, is that you?" I turned toward the voice, and found two fellows staring at me.
"Well I'll be damned, it is you," One of them stated before they both smiled widely.
I watched them curiously before remembering two very similar smiles from years before. The sight of those smiles brought to mind memories of my childhood in St. Louis.
"Roger? Johnny?"
"That's us!" Roger exclaimed as he shook my hand while patting me on the shoulder.
"I can't believe it!" I exclaimed.
"Damn it's good to see you Masen," Johnny spoke then. "Let's go grab a pint and catch up."
That's exactly what we did, our shared history made it easy to fall into conversation as we sat and drank in a local pub. It was the first time I'd felt truly happy since Bella's letter.
"You seem different my friend," Roger said as he studied me. "In a good way," he clarified. "You're definitely not the same kid I remember."
I rubbed the back of my neck with my hand. "Things happened. I suppose they changed me."
Roger and Johnny nodded in understanding before Johnny spoke in a low voice, "We were both sorry to hear about your father Edward."
I nodded, not wanting to speak of it. Thankfully, a distraction came a moment later in the form of a beautiful nurse.
"Uh-oh, here she comes," Johnny said as he nudged my elbow and pointed toward the door. "Every evening like clockwork she arrives, and our friend Roger is tripping over his tongue."
I looked up to see a British Army nurse enter and look in our direction. She winked at Roger and he was immediately on his feet moving toward her. He placed his hand under her elbow and led her to our table. "Julia, you already know this so and so," he said while gesturing toward Johnny, "but I'd like to introduce you to Edward Masen, one of my best friends."
To hear Roger introduce me in that way, affected me. When we were children, I wasn't very nice to my 'friends', as a matter of fact, I can remember being a bit of a tyrant. However that wasn't how they chose to remember me, and I was grateful beyond words for it.
"Nice to meet you Julia," I told her with a smile.
"My pleasure," Julia said before turning back to Roger. I felt my heart clench in my chest when I realized that the look she was giving him was the same one Bella used to give me.
Spending time with Roger and Johnny helped me to forget, but at night as I lay in my bunk the memory of Bella returned sharp and clear. Her beautiful eyes, the shape of her face, the way she would throw her head back when she laughed, how she unconsciously wet her lips just before I would kiss her…
My heart would start pounding in my chest when I wondered if she'd moved on; wondered who she was kissing now. I remembered the faces of Michael and the other boys at the dance, so eager to spend time with her, although she only had eyes for me.
Had that changed?
That was usually about the time I'd drift off to sleep, but even then I couldn't escape her, because every night, Bella starred in my dreams. Mercifully, all were happy memories of time spent together, walks, picnics, fishing and swimming at the lake; the sun glistening off the beads of moisture on her fair skin as I would sneak peeks of her while she sunbathed.
Bella telling me that she loved me…
I would wake, gasping for air with the weight of everything I'd lost pressing down upon my chest, robbing me of the ability to breathe. I was silent in my misery though, so my bunkmates thankfully never grew wise to my pain. Most had their own crosses to bear.
***H*of*A***
Dear Edward,
I hope you're well. Mama and I miss you terribly. I've got lots to tell you. The first bit of news is that the Malloys have moved out. After Mama heard the things Laura said to you in New York, she grew suspicious. During the ride back home, she questioned Laura. It didn't take long to break her.
You should have seen it Edward. Mama was magnificent, by the time we'd arrived in Peoria; Laura was reduced to a crying sniveling mess.
Brace yourself brother dear, because what I've got to tell you will be a shock. I still find it hard to believe that a deceitful creature such as Laura Malloy could have lived with us all that time and successfully masked her true nature.
Evidently, while you were in Georgia, Laura sent a letter to Bella which was filled with lies! In the letter, she claimed that you, in your drunken despair over the fact that Bella didn't make it to Peoria during your leave, had 'relations' with Laura and, as a result, she is now expecting your child.
Laura worded the letter in such a way that Bella, naïve sweet girl that she is, must have believed her.
She then played upon Bella's sense of honor stating that, if you refused to marry her, her life and the life of the child would be ruined. She told Bella that you would never willingly give her up, therefore she begged Bella to break up with you so that you would, in turn, do the right thing.
If Bella truly believed Laura's words, then I cannot hold the decision to break off with you against her. She willingly sacrificed her own happiness for the child she imagined to be real. Her reaction is exactly what I would have expected from our dear Bella.
As for Laura's motives, they were simple. She believed that with Bella out of the way, you'd fall madly in love with her. She doesn't know you at all.
I've written to the Swans in an effort to reach Bella, but have yet to hear a response. Chin up, I believe in my heart that you and Bella are meant to be together, and mere mortals such as Laura Malloy do not have the power to interfere with destiny.
I love you.
Your favorite sister,
Claire
I had to read the letter three times before the words made sense. And then I became angry. Not at Bella, although I couldn't understand why she didn't talk to me before breaking off all ties. Then I remembered her saying in the letter that she feared I'd never give her up. My shoulders slumped as I realized she was right. Even if the things Laura had written had in fact been true, I wouldn't have wanted to give up my future with Bella.
I winced as I realized that I was indeed my father's son, selfish to the core.
***H*of*A***
The weeks turned into months as more troops continued to arrive.
Roger and Johnny, seeing how miserable I was, although I'd tried my best to hide it, seemed to make it their mission to 'find me a girl'. After refusing their efforts time and time again, I finally broke down one evening after the consumption of too many beers, and told them about Bella.
"Eddie, I feel terrible now for pushing you into talking to those other girls," Roger slurred. He was almost as drunk as I was.
"Line them up again barkeep, our friend is nursing a broken heart," Johnny shouted, causing everyone in the place to turn and stare at me.
If I'd been sober, I might have been embarrassed.
"Would you two drunken fools leave poor Eddie alone," Julia interrupted. It was quiet for a while before Julia turned to me and spoke in a low voice. "Trust me, I'm not saying this to make you feel worse, but did you ever think that maybe the best thing would be to find someone else Eddie? At least it would help you to forget…"
I winced and shook my head before staring down into my beer glass, even the thought of replacing Bella was painful.
She patted my arm. "No, I can see that's not possible. Well, if you should ever change your mind, just say the word, I have a couple of friends who would be tickled to meet a nice chap like you." She told me with a smile.
After working all day, we tended to have a lot of evenings free. While my friends continued to spend those evenings in the pub, chatting up the local female population, I had taken to visiting a little book shop in town.
It was there that my life changed once again for the better.
As I rounded the aisle, headed toward the back of the shop, I was graced with a familiar profile. She hadn't changed much, maybe a little thinner, and her face bore a sad expression that I hadn't often seen during the time I'd known her.
Just as I did the first time we'd met, I worried that she was a figment of my imagination. As I got closer, her eyes suddenly lifted from the book that she held in her hands, and she turned to face me.
"Edward," she gasped.
"It's me," I whispered. It was only then that I took in her nurse's uniform and realized that she was indeed flesh and blood, not an apparition.
I wanted so badly to pull her into my arms, but was also aware that I needed to clear the air first.
"How are you Bella?"
"I'm fine." She said with no conviction in her tone.
"Bella.."
"Edward.."
We began at the same time.
I acquiesced, gesturing that she should speak first. She swallowed hard, "How is your family?"
"Mama and Claire are well."
"No, I mean the rest of your family."
"My Aunt, Uncle and cousins are also well."
"No Edward, your, your wife," the word seemed to catch in her throat.
"There is no wife, Bella." I told her while looking into her sad eyes.
She gasped again. "But Edward, the child…."
"Bella, darling, there is no child. There never was a child. I know what Laura told you, but she lied. I have never been with Laura in that way, I've never been with any girl like that. You're the only girl I've ever even kissed, for crying out loud."
"But, I don't understand…"
"For whatever twisted reason, Laura wanted me. I just wish you'd given me the chance to explain this to you at the time."
Bella looked balefully up at me. "I don't understand. I wasn't thinking Edward. I… I was so hurt…
Her letter was so convincing. How could I not believe?
I thought…
I mean…
Oh Edward!" Bella brought her hand to her mouth in horror as she was hit with the sudden realization of what Laura's lies had cost us.
"I wasn't in my right mind for a long time. When I found out from my mother that you were going overseas I seemed to snap to my senses and made the trip to New York, determined to at least say goodbye to you properly. I watched from a distance as you hugged your mother and sister. As I began to walk over to you, I saw her throw her arms around your neck. I couldn't take it. I turned and fled." Bella explained as tears trailed down her cheeks. "If she lied about everything Edward, then why was she there? Why were her arms around you?" She asked, her expression pleading.
"Bella, I want you to think back to exactly what you saw that day. Did you see me wrap my arms around her?" I asked as the last of my self-control vanished and I closed the distance between us, pulling her to me. "If you'd stayed a minute longer, you would have seen me push her away. She's out of her mind Bella and she's already kept me from you for far too long." I said, our lips almost touching. "I've only ever wanted you. Please tell me it's not too late. Tell me you still love me."
I had to hear the words.
"I love you," she whispered. "I've always loved only you."
I pressed my lips to hers and all the sadness and despondency I'd been feeling for the last few months fell away leaving just me and the woman I loved. My kisses were desperate as my lips traveled over the skin of her cheeks, her chin and her forehead before finding their way back to her warm and waiting mouth.
"Oh Bella, are you really here?" I asked in a whispered plea. "I've missed you so."
"I'm really here," she whispered.
I reveled in her touch as her arms reached around me; pulling me closer, but then she seemed to stiffen; her lips no longer responding to my kisses. I pulled back to look at her face only to find her pale and shaking.
"Bella, what's the matter?" I asked in alarm.
"Oh Edward, how can you ever forgive me for not trusting you?" She asked as the floodgates opened and tears began to stream down her face once again. "You deserve someone better than me. I'm so ashamed." She cried as she covered her face with her hands.
I pulled her hands away and kissed away her tears. "Darling, you are the kindest person I've ever known. I never questioned why it was so easy for you to believe Laura's story, you yourself don't have a deceitful bone in your body therefore it was impossible for you to recognize that trait in Laura. You were willing to forfeit your happiness in order to insure that I would do the right thing. You're a much better person than I am Bella, but I intend to spend the rest of my days striving to be the man you deserve."
"You're already more than I could ever deserve." She said quietly.
We spent the next couple of hours talking, although there were a few passionate kisses thrown in as well. I discovered that Bella had gone into a nurse training program as soon as she graduated. Her father had gotten a new job in Philadelphia and her parents had moved a few months ago, but unfortunately were having trouble receiving mail sent to the old address. Consequently, they hadn't received any of the letters from Mama and Claire telling them of Laura's deceitful behavior.
We lost track of the time as we got reacquainted and eventually the shop keeper, who had been rather indulgent, informed that she regretfully needed to close the shop and go home to bed. We apologized and said goodbye to her with a smile.
It was difficult to part from each other that night, but after agreeing to meet in front of the book shop the next evening, I kissed Bella once more and returned to the barracks with a lighter heart than I'd had in months.
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